Cougar Date Story #2: I’m Shallow and I Know It

I won’t lie – looks are 90% of what I look for in a woman. Basically, if she’s hot and NOT crazy, I’m likely to do her. And if she’s not hot, she better be cute and have an AMAZING personality. She’ll have to talk her way into my bed. Now, if a woman doesn’t have at least above average looks or is fat, there’s no way in hell I’ll sleep with her. So, yes, I’m a shallow prick. Sue me!


Have you ever hooked up with a chick you met, while drunk, in a bar and then found out she wasn’t as cute as she looked through your Beer Goggles? I’m a big fan of online dating and think it’s the best place to meet Cougars. But every now and then you’ll come across what I like to call “Beer Goggles Woman”. She looks good in her profile pictures and not so good in person.

she’s hot

she’s hot

I encountered Beer Goggles Woman about 6 months ago. I met her on DateACougar.com – a site I had already met a few very attractive Cougars. But this one was a bad apple. Actually, that’s crossing the line. She wasn’t a bad apple. In fact, she seemed like a very intelligent and friendly person. She’s a better person than me. But I’m shallow and well…she just wasn’t so easy on my eyes. She wasn’t butt ugly, but I just wasn’t turned on by her presence. Let’s face it – us Men are very visual. I’m a habitual offender.

Attractive Cougar

Attractive Cougar

Bowing Out Gracefully

The instant I met her, I knew I wasn’t going to have sex with her. Her online photos were cute. They weren’t hot, but if she looked anything like she did online, I definitely would have slept with her. It’s just a shame she showed up looking like a completely different person. I barely even noticed a resemblance.

Being the classy guy that I am, I wasn’t going to just leave. I said I would meet her for drinks, so that’s exactly what I would do. We sat down, had a drink, and started talking. She was actually a somewhat interesting person. Not interesting enough to make me want to sleep with her. But I decided I would get liquored up and maybe then I’ll want her. I never get drunk on a date. That’s my rule. But this date was different. There was no other option.

I ended up getting completely hammered. I probably had 7 or 8 beers and a few shots throughout the night. She had quite a bit to drink as well. Later on in the evening, my ex-girlfriend sent me a text that she wanted to fuck later on. So I was trying to think of an excuse to get out of there. Alcohol makes me horny and when a cute gal offers up some pussy, I’m not about to pass up on it. And then she sent me another text about 20 minutes later saying that she can’t get together tonight.

 Have sex

Have sex

I felt like a kid on Christmas that didn’t get the presents he had hoped for. So I decided I’d just suck it up and take my date back to my place. It was an easy lay. I was drunk and horny. And, to be honest, with the lights off she wasn’t too bad to look at. She gave an excellent blowjob. And the sex wasn’t too bad either. She’s just not my cup of tea. I haven’t spoken to her since that night because, again…I’m a shallow prick!